Hello lovelies! I’ve had a few life-changing occurrences in my life recently and it’s got me thinking about a lot of stuff. I then turned to self-help books which is something I never thought I’d do. ‘The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck’ was… life-changing. Here’s what I, personally, have taken from it.
The Fucks I Used to Give
I’m a natural giver of fucks. As Lady Gaga says, ‘baby I was born this way’ but what she’s wrong about is being on the right track. There is another track. The fuckless track. The more I read, the more I thought about what was giving me anxiety and the more I probed into my barn of fucks. And, what I found was, it was full. The thing about being a fuck giver is it makes you a hoarder of fucks and there’s only so many fucks I can give. I realised, these are too many fucks to carry. Sarah Knight made me evaluate everything I thought I gave a fuck about so I could let go of some.
Things I Don’t Give a Fuck About
I did a lot of soul searching and here are the fucks that I just do not have time for in my fuck-budget:
- Eating like a rabbit
- Eating breakfast
- Office politics of not being able to leave on time lest you look lazy
- What people think I’m doing
- ‘Real’ jobs
- What counts as the right amount of sleep
- Breathing in too much pollution
- Literally any part of your baby’s development posted on Facebook
- Amazon cheap-skating authors
Things I Can Therefore Have More Time To Give a Fuck About
- Eating what I want
- Watching documentaries
- Reading the news
- Getting some extra time in bed
- Getting extra time to do what I actually enjoy doing
- Evaluating my own happiness and goals
- I can go more places without wondering what my CO2 levels would measure on a breath test
- Spend more time with my pets
- Read all of the books at a much cheaper cost
Do you see the conversion? Drop a fuck, have a spare fuck buck to spend elsewhere! Magic.
Why Do We Give a Fuck?
The root of a problem always provides a way of removing it so to give less fucks we should understand why we give the fucks in the first place. Knight thinks it’s because we worry what other people think of us. She explains that it is important to not hurt people’s feelings but making things a matter of opinion means you can have a guilt-free time not giving a fuck. She also explains that we worry about the things we can’t change as well as what we can, when only the latter is useful to care about and the former absolutely useless.
Understanding this has made me realise that I can make life changes all I want so long as I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings. For example, I’m leaving my current job to go freelance and I worried about them thinking that I was leaving them in the lurch. I worried that they’d think freelance was being lazy. But the former worry is something I have nothing to do with and can’t be helped — they’ll just have to hire a replacement, and the latter is a matter of opinion not feeling. What other people think of you is their business not yours. And so the fucks dissipate!
Let go of some fucks so your fuck budget can be spent on things that make you happy. There are things that you should give a fuck about, such as family and friends, and things that you have to do regardless of how happy it makes you but there are also plenty of things that you give a fuck about that you have no time for.
The whole point of clearing out your fuck drawer means you get to prioritise your time better and live your best life. I don’t need to give a fuck about my gym bod if I walk the dog. I don’t need to get my ironing done today when I’d rather read a book. I don’t need to work in a 9-5 job and then a second job to make money when I could be my own boss and manage my hours, picking up and dropping work whenever I need more or less money.
This is a great book and a great self-reflection exercise. I highly recommend that everyone go into their barn of fucks and have a clear out. It’s a spring clean. It’s going to be okay. You’re just one person who can’t divide their time and energy into doing so many things and you really need to let go of some fucks, make a realistic budget, and look after your own wellbeing!
Has anyone else read The Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck? Let me know!