I thought that as I am about to semi gracefully exit my fresher year and enthusiastically enter second year AND as some of you may be getting all excited about your upcoming freshers, I would contemplate mine. Besides all the readings and lectures, university taught me more than some Philosophers and their thoughts…
- Alcohol Anxiety Class! During my fresher week, I definitely let everything go and threw myself, too enthusiastically, into every drinking game around me. Sure, it meant that I wasn’t too shy to dance my bum off and have a good time…but a few nights didn’t end so fun. On one particular night, I nipped into my bedroom to put my phone on charge…and woke up TWO HOURS LATER, confused at the silence, no music pumping and no one around. As I hadn’t recognised that I had passed out, I was genuinely confused at how everyone had vanished so quickly and broke into a panic attack and went shrieking down the corridor, knocking peoples doors so hard that I made my knuckles bleed and didn’t stop screaming until my darling flat rep Megan sat me on the floor and explained to me that two hours had passed and no one had seen me since I went into my bedroom. Not cool. Know your limits.
- Flats for Freshers! When you’ve only just met your flatmates and are making friends, it is only natural that you want to make an effort with your outfit too. You’ve always clubbed in heels, right? Now change the perspective. Freshers week is a 7 day alcohol fuelled, non-stop party around campus and the surrounding area. Let’s say pre-drinks start at 7pm, you leave at 10pm and return at 2am. Limping occurs and so do blisters. Choose happiness over pain and do yourself the favour of choosing cute flats over those huge heels you were thinking about. You are not allowed to drop until the week is out!
- Cocktail Class! Mixing drinks will leave you head over a toilet all night.
- Face down! Pass out face down if you feel queazy…no one wants to die choking on their own vomit.
- Cookery Class! Just buy bacon for the morning and lots of chicken, chicken dippers, chips, pasta and pasta sauce. Quick, tasty and filling. Always eat before drinking. No one needs you to be a top chef. You just need to be a survivor!
- Coffee! Believe it or not, you CAN balance your social life with your lectures by clubbing the night before! Woo! Yeah, you just have to really like drinking 4 cups of coffee first thing in a morning… Fortunately for myself, I love coffee. Go heavy on the flavoured syrup if you’re not a fan, it’s better than being that one kid asleep in the back of the class.
- Lecture! Realistically you are going to be too hungover or tired to hear anything said in lectures. So before you even pretend that you’ve got this down, record your lectures on your phone so you have something to listen to and work from when exams roll around to bite your sorry ass.
- Relationship Ruin. Relationships across uni are hard, probability is against you. If you really want it then try. But the distance and meeting new people makes you realise whether it’s what you really want or not. And this little truth is made very blunt to you. In my experience, it’s better to cut the idiot off than have them at home constantly paranoid of your whereabouts and friendships. If they’re in any way affecting your freshers then cut them off.
- First Aid Class! Medical kits are actually really useful. Plasters, paracetamol and even dressings and bandages came in handy over the course of my fresher year. Also, fresher’s flu is legit a real thing. Buy some Lemsip right now.
- The Friendship Bench! Freshers and university is a great time to make friends for life. I have the loveliest group of friends who have been there for me to share and celebrate my highs and cuddle me at my lows. That being said, if you have to cohabit with a complete numpty and they cause you grief, it is entirely okay to not have anything to do with this person!
This kind of turned into a survival lesson but hey, take it or leave it. My fresher year was amazing and I have very fond memories.
Knock yourself out,
P.S. Don’t actually knock yourself out. Did you even read number 1?!